Being 'Mr. X'

To understand what I am going through right now, imagine you are in my place... Imagine a life where you have always hated some specific type of people... let's call them 'X'... The more X's you meet, the more you hate them...

To be clear - X's here is not for any community/caste/religion/gender or any such group... X here represents 'a person having some peculiar and annoying habit or behaviour'. Let's call this habit/behaviour - 'Xness'.

That said, I will move on with the post.

So, imagine you hate X's and the more you meet them, the more you hate them...

Now... you have always wondered, what an X would feel when he finds out he is such an X? How do these X's feel about themselves? How do they sleep at night? Etc. etc...

And after having so much hatred for X's, what if, one day you realize that you, yourself, are an X... Then with time, you realize that you are not just an ordinary X, but you are such a big X, that if the X's community found out about you, they would make you their King...

So Mr. King X... What how do you feel now? Can you change that, can you not change that... Time will tell... but one thing is sure... You are going to have the answers of some your previous questions (underlined above)...

How would you feel then? Would you want to to change yourself? Or would you, with time, start to empathize with these Xs?

P.S. Sorry to those people whom I have hurt by being such an X... Sorry is not enough, but what's done is done...  I am working to improve myself...

P.S. again... Please don't wander you thought... The Xness for me is the habit of people to force their opinions upon others... But it can be anything for anybody...

Are we really free???

I am watching videos on you tube, and this thought comes to mind...

Are we really free??? Can we do whatever we want? By that I mean, if I think something needs to be done, and its morally right, can I really do it???

Obviously, one can argue that who's stopping me? I can do whatever I want... But this system of ours... I feel it puts invisible bonds on us, which take away our freedom to what we morally judge to be the right action.

I fact I compare it to all the people in the world bound to each other by chains and being dragged on a path... Invisible forces pushing and pulling them... Though at their hearts, they might want to wander on different paths, but for that they will have to break the chains. And breaking the chains will mean they longer belong to the group. This is group represents the general society that we belong to. And it is the fear of not belonging to this group, that we don't break the chains. The chains are in fact very weak, but our fear is what makes them strong enough to keep us bound.

All we need to do is to give it a jerk and they will break away... and we will be free... But no one dares...

As a result, we spend the whole of our beautiful life the way we don't want to spend it.

Now let me make a bit more clear what I am talking about. When I say we are bounded by the system, I am referring to this society and it's rule and regulations. These rules sometimes do keep us from going the wrong way, but sometimes they also keep us from going on what might have been the right way. In fact, these rules of the society keep us on a general agreed path... The society as a whole decided that a certain way is correct and everyone follows it.

But what if we are wrong??? Can we do anything about it??? Most of don't even realise that they are not doing what they might have liked to do...

For example, when we are very young, we cant think for ourselves and hence our parents do what's best for us. They send us to schools which is probably the best action.

But what if, when I grow up and am old enough to know what's right and wrong for me.. What if I don't want to go to school anymore. I think that's a waste of my time? One might yes, a lot of people drop out, but what of a lot many who don't dare to do such a thing.


Another example, I complete my education and get a high paying job and a secure life. I have a family of my own and a lot of dependents. Now, I realise the job is not what I want to do for my whole life. Can I leave it and suddenly start doing whatever I want? Nobody is stopping me, but can I really do that. Invisible bonds...

Another example... Hopefully the last...

A corrupt politician is raping the country. He is enjoying at the expense of the society. Almost, each one in the society knows he should be shot down. Still, a major portion of that same society keeps protecting him from anyone who wants to take action against him. Rest of the society keeps playing the role of silent audience. If the rebel wins, this society will laud him and forget him. If the corrupt politician wins, this society will keep say nothing can be done, just adjust with it while the corrupt people scale new heights of corruption.

Like in India, we had an anti-corruption campaign a few months back. I was in Delhi at that time and wanted to join. But I didn't, reason: I had to study and get good grades... WTF???

Now when I think of it, it seems so foolish... I feel ashamed.. But when I was actually in that situation, this same reason didn't feel so foolish. It felt the right thing to do, concentrate on your studies, you have responsibilities.

By giving everybody some or the other responsibilities, this society has managed to keep everyone bounded by that invisible chain. Want to part of the society and live a secured life? Keep fulfilling your responsibilities and don't use your brain too much.

I guess, I have dragged on too long... I should stop here...

Was I wrong?

Something happened in today's communication class... I did something, got a feedback totally unexpected, and I dont know if I was wrong or just didn't put my point properly...

Its was oral communication's class. Prof had given us a topic for group discussion:
"Mercy killing: Should it be legalised?"

Now my general knowledge is very poor, pathetic shall be a better word... I know what mercy killing means, but that's all... No knowledge of any cases, any news on that... Nothing...

So I thought better to keep quiet initially, listen to what others are saying and give opinion accordingly. As the discussion progressed, I found that most were against mercy killing. They were putting some points in favour, but still opposing it... Either they genuinely believed it to be a bad thing or were hesitating to favour it for fear of getting stares from rest...

But from the points put forward ny others, I realised that atleast in some cases mercy killing did make sense... The case here is of the patients in vegetative state...

Sure such a person has life remaining in him, there are chances that he may awake one day... But what are the chances?
See I am not saying here that such a person has no right to live...

But we all know the resources we have are scarce. Especially in India, where a lot of people die for lack of basic medical necessities, what sense does it make to take the resources from ten people, who have a lot more chance of survival, and use those resources to save one person who has hardly any chance to live???

Now one of my fellow group mate argued that what about the value of life? What about the people who care for that one person?

Agreed that there are people for whom that one person is family and they have hopes he will live. But don't the people who are denied the resources have families?

Also, as far as I know, mercy killing is asked by the person or his family itself. The person must be going through a lot of pain to ask for death. In case of family asking for mercy killing, they must be asking for it only after realising that even if the patient lives, it would be a life full of pain and agony.

Now talking about the value of life? I just pointed out that most of the people present in the class eat non-vegetarian food, even the one who put that point... Did they ever thought of the value of life when an animal was killed just because these people "who value life so much" wanted to satisfy their taste buds? How do they react when they read the news of some people being killed in a bomb blast? Most of the time the reaction is:
"Oh God, what has happened to mankind?" and turn the page to read other news. Not one more thought...

Is this caring for the value of life?

Now please understand that I am not saying that there's no value to the life of the person who is in vegetative state...

But I am saying that it makes much more sense to sacrifice the life of a person who is having much less chances to survive to save a few people who have much more chances of survival...


Now this might not be the way I talked in the discussion, courtesy to a lot of counter arguements and angry stares. And hence, there is a probability that whatever I said may have made a very different sense. So my batch-mates might be right in criticising my stance.

But now that I have written everything the way I wanted and you have read it... I ask you, am I wrong?

The Greedy Indian Customer

I just went to buy a pair of floaters...

Why? Coz I dont have one...

Why do I need them if I have a pair of cool looking slippers? Well the management of my college thought it was a bad idea to wear slippers in the academic building... I agree...

Now, there are 3 showrooms just outside my college gate... (Oh yes, I joined a college a month ago, that story some other time...) So the three showrooms: Bata, Puma, Nike...

Puma and Nike products are way out of my budget but both had a discount board showing 70% and 50% off. So i thought why not take a look, maybe I can find a good buy with a little extension of budget...

I went to Puma first... Looked at the price range, looked at the discount, calculated the price I will have to pay, gave a frown, came out...
Looked towards left, Nike 50% off... Bigger frown, waste of time... Looked towards right... Bata 50% off... Right it is then...

I went inside the showroom... Took a look around, there were two gorgeous girls of my college standing there, looking to buy something of course... Shall I go and talk to them? Naah... Waste of time... (Believe me I thought that...)

Took another look around, looking for what things I needed... Realised that I will be needing almost all the items on the display in 2-3 months... but that all could wait... For now, just buy a pair of floaters and take an exit...

Fine just the floaters then... Went to that stall...
No offer here... Fine...

What qualities do I need in the floaters?

Good Looking, Durable, Comfortable...

And what is my budget? Below Rs. 200-250...

Can you believe it?
I am looking for a pair of floaters in a branded product showroom in Delhi... They should be good looking, not weird coloured, comfortable, and durable...
And I want all that in just Rs. 250...

Now one may say, getting a good pair of floaters in Rs. 250 is not a big thing... In fact my myself am using a pair of local made slippers which I bought for Rs. 160 in Nagpur and I am using them for more than a year now...
But come-on yaar, this is Delhi I am talking about and that too in a brand showroom...

And above all, I want to use them for atleast 2 yrs... How greedy I am... I even thought I am mad...

But no, I am no mad... I got one... I just now have to see whether I can use them for two years...

Individualism vs Socialism

Man is growing more individualistic today. By this I mean today an individual is given more priority than the society, unlike in the past, when the society was given more priority than the individuals. The order of preference earlier was society-family-individual, while today it is more like invidual-family-society.

Let's take an example from Indian culture.

Earlier marriage used to happen at a relatively younger age (I am not talking about child marriage here, but younger age as compared to today's, say 16-18 yrs old), and the girl used to come and live with the boy's family.
Now, at this age, one is still developing his individual personality and thus, the girl could adapt herself more to a new house, new people, new lifestyle, new environment etc.

In contrast, today's urban population get married at a very late age, mostly after 25 yrs age. Now at this stage, a person has developed his own personality. Thus when a girl marries and goes to her husband's house, she has trouble adapting to the new environment. Now, if its a nuclear family, the couple living alone, then its less difficult, as before marriage, the couple gets ample time to check compatibility with each other.
But what if the family is a joint one? Now there maybe 6-7 members or even more. True, it's unfair to ask the girl to change herself to fit in the group, but its totally ridiculous if the girl expects the whole family members to change according to her.

And this is what happens in most cases... A couple gets married at a very late age, girl moves to boy's family, finds it difficult to adjust, tries to change other, clashes happen, result: divorce or the couple moves out and live separately.

Now the argument for late marriages are mostly like career, not ready yet etc. etc. All these are give more importance to the individual person and do not consider the impacts on the future family.

Some clarifications:
These are just my views.
I am by no means promoting child marriages or even marriages at an earlier age.
I am not against the female population.
I am just trying to analyse the impacts of individual behaviour on the society.

Abra ka dabra...

Well this post has nothing to do with magic, its just that i m feelings sleepy and wasn't able to think of any suitable title... Well again my sleepiness has nothing to do with me not able to think a title... I just said that coz as i said i m sleepy...

Ok... Enough i think... To the topic now...

Today i realised that love is not just blind, it is also foolish... To be more specific, a guy in love becomes blind and a gal in love becomes foolish... and before any of the female human beings reading this start screaming and throwing things at me, let me tell u anybody's accepting or denying this thing does not change the truth....

I have noted this in those of my friends who are committed:

When they are with their soul-mates, their level of jokes suddenly drops in logic and sense... N when i thought for reasons, i realized that the reason for this is that their female partners laugh at almost anything they say or do... (the basis for my thinking of women in love as foolish)

While the more sane people (read the guy's friends) are pulling their hairs off, the gals are laughing and encouraging the guy... Now, as the guy can only see his gal laughing and not the state of his saner friends... (the basis for my thinking he's blind... or partial blind u might say...)

The result... He thinks he is a very funny guy (which he is not)... He thinks whatever he thinks, speaks or does is super duper ultra funny... (which obviously is not....)

The result... his level of jokes drops.. n his friends suffer to the point that they want to commit suicide or kill the guy...


P.S. All my friends who are committed: Yes, i was referring to you in my blog... And no, this is not a coincidence that the incident seems familiar...

Trying to define greatness...

I was trying to think, "what makes a man great?"

Is it talent? One gets talent from nature, so what is one's greatness in that?

Now everybody has got talent. It's just that in some, it gets nourished and flourishes, while in some unfortunate, it gets suppressed and hence, sort of dies away. But if one's talent has been nourished properly, the credit should go to his guardian. Then what is one's greatness in that?

Then I thought of all the great people we know of... Why do we call them great? There must be something common in them which may define there greatness...

Then I realised that indeed there was one thing common in them: They worked and their purpose of work was a good one... and that may be what made them great...

They used their talent and for a good purpose...

Having talent is not in our capacity... Nourishing it is not in our capacity... but choosing what to do with whatever we have got and actually doing it is definitely in our capacity... What makes us great is how we utilise that capacity...

In the epic Mahabharat, there were many skilled archers... Arjun, Bhishm, Karna, Dronacharya, Ashwathama... but Arjun is called a greatest of them because it was him, who put his talent to the right purpose...

Now Mahabharata may be just a story, but why would that mean it cannot be a good example...