Individualism vs Socialism

Man is growing more individualistic today. By this I mean today an individual is given more priority than the society, unlike in the past, when the society was given more priority than the individuals. The order of preference earlier was society-family-individual, while today it is more like invidual-family-society.

Let's take an example from Indian culture.

Earlier marriage used to happen at a relatively younger age (I am not talking about child marriage here, but younger age as compared to today's, say 16-18 yrs old), and the girl used to come and live with the boy's family.
Now, at this age, one is still developing his individual personality and thus, the girl could adapt herself more to a new house, new people, new lifestyle, new environment etc.

In contrast, today's urban population get married at a very late age, mostly after 25 yrs age. Now at this stage, a person has developed his own personality. Thus when a girl marries and goes to her husband's house, she has trouble adapting to the new environment. Now, if its a nuclear family, the couple living alone, then its less difficult, as before marriage, the couple gets ample time to check compatibility with each other.
But what if the family is a joint one? Now there maybe 6-7 members or even more. True, it's unfair to ask the girl to change herself to fit in the group, but its totally ridiculous if the girl expects the whole family members to change according to her.

And this is what happens in most cases... A couple gets married at a very late age, girl moves to boy's family, finds it difficult to adjust, tries to change other, clashes happen, result: divorce or the couple moves out and live separately.

Now the argument for late marriages are mostly like career, not ready yet etc. etc. All these are give more importance to the individual person and do not consider the impacts on the future family.

Some clarifications:
These are just my views.
I am by no means promoting child marriages or even marriages at an earlier age.
I am not against the female population.
I am just trying to analyse the impacts of individual behaviour on the society.

Abra ka dabra...

Well this post has nothing to do with magic, its just that i m feelings sleepy and wasn't able to think of any suitable title... Well again my sleepiness has nothing to do with me not able to think a title... I just said that coz as i said i m sleepy...

Ok... Enough i think... To the topic now...

Today i realised that love is not just blind, it is also foolish... To be more specific, a guy in love becomes blind and a gal in love becomes foolish... and before any of the female human beings reading this start screaming and throwing things at me, let me tell u anybody's accepting or denying this thing does not change the truth....

I have noted this in those of my friends who are committed:

When they are with their soul-mates, their level of jokes suddenly drops in logic and sense... N when i thought for reasons, i realized that the reason for this is that their female partners laugh at almost anything they say or do... (the basis for my thinking of women in love as foolish)

While the more sane people (read the guy's friends) are pulling their hairs off, the gals are laughing and encouraging the guy... Now, as the guy can only see his gal laughing and not the state of his saner friends... (the basis for my thinking he's blind... or partial blind u might say...)

The result... He thinks he is a very funny guy (which he is not)... He thinks whatever he thinks, speaks or does is super duper ultra funny... (which obviously is not....)

The result... his level of jokes drops.. n his friends suffer to the point that they want to commit suicide or kill the guy...


P.S. All my friends who are committed: Yes, i was referring to you in my blog... And no, this is not a coincidence that the incident seems familiar...

Trying to define greatness...

I was trying to think, "what makes a man great?"

Is it talent? One gets talent from nature, so what is one's greatness in that?

Now everybody has got talent. It's just that in some, it gets nourished and flourishes, while in some unfortunate, it gets suppressed and hence, sort of dies away. But if one's talent has been nourished properly, the credit should go to his guardian. Then what is one's greatness in that?

Then I thought of all the great people we know of... Why do we call them great? There must be something common in them which may define there greatness...

Then I realised that indeed there was one thing common in them: They worked and their purpose of work was a good one... and that may be what made them great...

They used their talent and for a good purpose...

Having talent is not in our capacity... Nourishing it is not in our capacity... but choosing what to do with whatever we have got and actually doing it is definitely in our capacity... What makes us great is how we utilise that capacity...

In the epic Mahabharat, there were many skilled archers... Arjun, Bhishm, Karna, Dronacharya, Ashwathama... but Arjun is called a greatest of them because it was him, who put his talent to the right purpose...

Now Mahabharata may be just a story, but why would that mean it cannot be a good example...

Castes and Marriage

First thing, I personally do not believe in the caste system and secondly, I have not written this blog because I am having any thoughts of marriage. It's just that I recalled a conversation I had with a dear friend, which made me think and hence, write...
A few days ago, I was having a casual chat with a friend; and the topic of castes and marriage came up. I realized that she was too much concerned about castes, and I reacted, "Why do you girls give so much importance to the caste of the guy you are thinking about?"
Then she explained, "Yaar, it's very easy for you guys to say this, because you don't have to go and live with the girl's family, but a girl has to. She has to adjust with the people, the new house, the new environment i.e. the new lifestyle. The more different it is from her's, the more difficult it will be for her."
Now, there are somethings that are right infront of your eyes for years, but you never know that they exist. The difference in lifestyle of various people around me, was one such thing for me.
And now that someone pointed that for me, I saw it. I understood the significance of the term 'diversity' in the phrase, 'Unity in Diversity'. There was indeed a lot of diversity among the people around me. The environment in everybody's home is different, the type of food eaten is different, the way weekends are celebrated is different, etc etc.
Obviously, this diversity is decreasing as the generation is advancing, but it still exists. And it is significant enough, that if I am asked to live according to someone else's lifestyle for more that a week, it will drive me mad.
And this difference is greater if the castes are different. Please note that the difference here is not negative or positive, its just a difference of style and anyone will get mad if he is asked to live life in someone else's style.
So now I understand how difficult it must be for a girl to adjust to the new surroundings. Thats why probably, our elders insist on intra-caste marriages, cause they had gone through all this, and obviously want to make the path easier for us...
P.S. : I do not have any personal opinions on importance of castes in marriage, I was just trying to find the logic behind elders insistence on intra-caste marriages.

Where's the justice?

I have been invisible for a long time, trying to ignore my commitment to blog, under the pretext of being busy. But something i read today just cant be ignored under any pretext.

Remember the age old movies of 60s or 70s... The theme being that of a rich, powerful Thakur raping an innocent girl from a poor family. The family so poor and weak compared to Thakur that they cant even get justice for their poor girl. Harassed by the society (the society is equally at fault, because instead of punishing the Thakur, it harasses the poor girl), the poor girl commits suicide. Her father/mother/brother/some relative keeps fighting to get justice for her for like ages. Years go by, the Thakur becomes old. Then some hero/heroine enters, mobilises the media and wheels of system, and thus helps get the poor relative justice for the poor girl, who's long dead. The movies ends in a happy note, claiming that none can escape justice.

Well, I always thought that this was a story of Old India, that nothing of this sort happens today, that India has come a long way and everyone gets justice...

But then, I read about the Richika Girhotra's case in today's news that made me realise how even today, India is like the one depicted in those movies...

A girl, Ruchika, was molested by a DGP, Rathore, in Haryana. The court ruled its decision by announcing punishment to the DGP and the girl got her justice. Looks fine, doesn't it?

Here are some facts:
1. The molestation happened 19 years ago.
2. The poor girl committed suicide 3 years later, obviously frustrated at not getting justice and probably being harassed by our society which is no less than a culprit by any means.
3. The punishment that the DGP got after these years is a 6 months jail and fine of Rs. 1000/-.

Now please someone tell me, from what angle is this a justice? A mere 6 months of jail and a pittance of fine... against the life of a the poor girl...

And what punishment to those, whose duty it was to deliver the justice on time? Nothing... If the DGP molested the girl, the people responsible for the delay actually killed her. Reports are that the DGP himself used his position to cover the matter as far as possible. He harassed the family and the related people for 19 years. Shouldn't there be some inquiry into this matter?

I think no... because if this simple delivery of justice took 19 years, no one can guess how long the inquiry into the complicated matter would take...

As a writer to this article, i am supposed to give some probable solution or recommendation to improve the system. But sorry, i just cant think of any... If any of u do, please post it....

I know this is a little far fetched, but if we can come up to any conclusions, any solid solution, we can mail it to our government and hope for the best. That's the least we can do...

Mis-management

Sorry friends, I have not been able to post anything from quite a long time. Actually i would say i was a victim of mismanagement.

My office timings had been increased, and including commuting time, I spent almost 13 hrs daily, that 6 days a week made almost 78 hrs a week.

The management of my company had decided to extend the work time so that the engineers can spend more time on the site. According to them, this will help increase the project speed and hence meet the project deadline.

Now why i call this a mismanagement is that the management of this company which hardly comes to the job area, has, i think, not looked into the real problem for the delay.

The reason the delays are occurring is not lack of engineers on site, but lack of labours. So if they dont increase the workers, what the hell is going to happen by making engineers to stay more (i m not saying work more, coz the work is hardly of 5 hrs a day).

In fact the engineers are in excess. Can u imagine what is the ratio of engineers to workers (the term engineers here include managers, engineers, contractors, supervisors.... infact all those who dont do the work but monitor the work...)

Once i went for a safety meeting of an area. All the people related to that area were present. Mechanical team, civil team, electrical team, safety team, contractors and of course the most important workers. The crowd consisted of around 40 people and only 5-6 of the where workers.

That means 7-8 engineers per worker.... that means, 1 person works and rest (mis) guide him. What happens most of the time is the workers sit idle because the so called guides keep fighting amongst themselves on the way to do the work... and of course the blame game...

Infact I have found that most of the work is carried out during after hours, when only engineers and 2-3 contractors are present on the whole site. It seems that less engineers cause less disturbance to the workers and more efficient work.

That means, if the engineers time is increased, the project may decrease instead of increasing....

Now, whose going to explain the management this???

Alma Mater

Once while I was in school, I was going through someone's year book. I came upon a term, 'alma mater'... Someone had refered to his college as alma mater...

It was a new term for me. So I looked up into dictionary and found out that alma mater in latin means nourishing mother...

I laughed... Who can call his school or college as his alma mater.

Then, I went to my college, NIT Hamirpur. I not just spent my 4 years there, but I lived them. I enjoyed them. And now I know why that person had called his college his 'alma mater'....