First thing, I personally do not believe in the caste system and secondly, I have not written this blog because I am having any thoughts of marriage. It's just that I recalled a conversation I had with a dear friend, which made me think and hence, write...
A few days ago, I was having a casual chat with a friend; and the topic of castes and marriage came up. I realized that she was too much concerned about castes, and I reacted, "Why do you girls give so much importance to the caste of the guy you are thinking about?"
Then she explained, "Yaar, it's very easy for you guys to say this, because you don't have to go and live with the girl's family, but a girl has to. She has to adjust with the people, the new house, the new environment i.e. the new lifestyle. The more different it is from her's, the more difficult it will be for her."
Now, there are somethings that are right infront of your eyes for years, but you never know that they exist. The difference in lifestyle of various people around me, was one such thing for me.
And now that someone pointed that for me, I saw it. I understood the significance of the term 'diversity' in the phrase, 'Unity in Diversity'. There was indeed a lot of diversity among the people around me. The environment in everybody's home is different, the type of food eaten is different, the way weekends are celebrated is different, etc etc.
Obviously, this diversity is decreasing as the generation is advancing, but it still exists. And it is significant enough, that if I am asked to live according to someone else's lifestyle for more that a week, it will drive me mad.
And this difference is greater if the castes are different. Please note that the difference here is not negative or positive, its just a difference of style and anyone will get mad if he is asked to live life in someone else's style.
So now I understand how difficult it must be for a girl to adjust to the new surroundings. Thats why probably, our elders insist on intra-caste marriages, cause they had gone through all this, and obviously want to make the path easier for us...
P.S. : I do not have any personal opinions on importance of castes in marriage, I was just trying to find the logic behind elders insistence on intra-caste marriages.
A few days ago, I was having a casual chat with a friend; and the topic of castes and marriage came up. I realized that she was too much concerned about castes, and I reacted, "Why do you girls give so much importance to the caste of the guy you are thinking about?"
Then she explained, "Yaar, it's very easy for you guys to say this, because you don't have to go and live with the girl's family, but a girl has to. She has to adjust with the people, the new house, the new environment i.e. the new lifestyle. The more different it is from her's, the more difficult it will be for her."
Now, there are somethings that are right infront of your eyes for years, but you never know that they exist. The difference in lifestyle of various people around me, was one such thing for me.
And now that someone pointed that for me, I saw it. I understood the significance of the term 'diversity' in the phrase, 'Unity in Diversity'. There was indeed a lot of diversity among the people around me. The environment in everybody's home is different, the type of food eaten is different, the way weekends are celebrated is different, etc etc.
Obviously, this diversity is decreasing as the generation is advancing, but it still exists. And it is significant enough, that if I am asked to live according to someone else's lifestyle for more that a week, it will drive me mad.
And this difference is greater if the castes are different. Please note that the difference here is not negative or positive, its just a difference of style and anyone will get mad if he is asked to live life in someone else's style.
So now I understand how difficult it must be for a girl to adjust to the new surroundings. Thats why probably, our elders insist on intra-caste marriages, cause they had gone through all this, and obviously want to make the path easier for us...
P.S. : I do not have any personal opinions on importance of castes in marriage, I was just trying to find the logic behind elders insistence on intra-caste marriages.
